From early on, I’ve been the type of person that collects “pet projects”. We all know what those are – people who seem to sit on the fringes. Who are not wholly accepted or who stand out (and not necessarily in a good way). My inner circle have suffered through many of my undertakings, few of which have been successful.
I’m also the kind of person that struggles to let people go. The advent of Facebook has nurtured this need - allowing me to connect with people I’ve sought for years – wondering about their lives and how it all turned out. However, I digress.
I came across a poem, a reason, a season, a lifetime, detailing why people come into our lives. Referring to a reason, it said that sometimes once this person (the reason) has served their purpose and without any wrongdoing on your part they will say and do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, walk away or act up and force you to take a stand.
A few months ago, I was forced to take a stand. On reflection I guess the universe had been pointing this out for a while. There had been ongoing incidents that I’d forgiven, even forgotten. However, on the morning of Wednesday 23 June the reason left me no choice. It was devastating to me, a punch in the chest that left me gasping for air. Similar to someone dying. And I guess in a way someone did. The reason, despite being a “project”, had also played a major role in my life. As a mentor and friend. Perhaps on the back of an emigration I was holding people closer than usual and placing undue dependence on the new relationships I had formed personally and professionally.
If I was to say that six months down the line I wasn’t still angry and hurt. That would be a lie. But, to say I don’t miss my friend would be a lie too. To conclude, the poem talks about seasonal and then lifetime relationships concluding that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. I love this last bit.
Letting go has been really hard but a necessary next step in the journey that will no doubt still bring many different people and relationships into my life. And I guess it’s the hope that there will be many lifetimers joining us along the way that make the reason’s and season’s worthwhile.